Gwenda. Dear Dear, Gwenda. Sadly deluded that she won "Big Brother" (whatever that is).

Her £6 million advertising deal with IRN BRU has yet to materialise but her agent says that it should start any day now. In the meantime, Gwenda doesn't mind "helping out" for those less fortunate than herself.

Les Unfortunates include those at the Bargain Bookshop for whom, celebrity status has yet to arrive.