Rene, 432nd in-line to the throne of Norway believes that treacle is mined from caves in Cornwall. Further delusions have lead her to set up a sanctuary for flightless badgers and petition for cheese-yodelling to become an Olympic sport. Completely off her trolley, Bev only employs her to scare the customers away.

Currently, Rene's hobbies and interests include Des O'Connor and extended proofs of Fermat's Last Theorem.